Posted May 16, 2012 by Myke Friscia in Nerdy Stuff

More iCcessories You Don’t Need

Silly iphone/ipod Accessories you don’t need.

icarta Ipod docking unit.  Or as I call it, the ipod dump station.  Now you can listen to your ipod on this toilet paper holder/ipod dock.  The sound is as “crappy” as the toilet paper will be in a few moments.   For those of you that can’t even take a bathroom break from your music, this is the perfect gadget for you.  Or, if you’re one of those that didn’t get your fiber and spend 30 to 45 minutes on the throne, this might come in handy.   Not sure I would want to touch any ipod I found in this docking station though.

The Xappr turns your iphone into a Zapper gun.  Why you would want to do this and what you want to zap is unknown.  Retails for who cares.

The Iphone head band.  Why use a small, wireless Bluetooth device when you can just strap the whole phone to your head?  This device lets everyone know your talking while driving and not paying attention.

Now you can use your iphone to watch movies on the go with this special hat that makes you look like the biggest dork on the planet.  Did that lady just get out of isurgery?  How is that guy going to sip his coffee with that hat on?  Is that guys’ TV broken?   No – they’re watcing the high quality image coming off that 2 inch screen.  Are you people serious?  You’ll probably need a note from your mom to buy this one.


Before you play one of those game apps, you may want to pop your iphone into one of these gadgets to give the feel being in a real arcade.  Haven’t seen these in stores – they must be flying of the shelves.


The iphone SLR lens mount and shoulder harness.  Wow.  Look at that sleek, comfortable, easy to hold, and practical design.   Now you too can be a film director.  Why buy one of those expensive SLR cameras when you can buy a more expensive lens attachment for your phone.  Take stunning photos and high quality videos with that 2.1 mp camera.   “Ready and action…. hold on, cut everybody.  The camera is ringing.  Camera man, take off all those accessories so I can answer the camera.”   Your days on the set can now go by even slower.


Introducing the new iphone viewmaster from Hasbro.  Available at Target for only $35, you can hand over that expensive iphone to your toddler who breaks everything and keep him busy for minutes at a time.

The ithong.  Don’t laugh, I’m buying one.  Perfect for your teenage daughter.  She can keep her phone here where none of those mean kids at school will steal it.  It also doubles as a cheap chastity belt.  Just set the screen saver to display “no entry”, and your family interests are protected from those vicious predators.  I’m also buying one for the wife so  I can use the iphone’s gps tracking to know where that vajayjay is at all times.

The iphone wrist mount.  Boy, that looks comfortable.  Why wear a watch when your iphone has a built in clock?  Forget carrying your phone in your pocket; this accessory lets everyone know you’re cool because you have a cell phone.


Ok people, I’ve saved the best for last.

Snipers, hunters, and professional assassins, finally the accessory you’ve been waiting for.  The iphone gun mount.  Now you can use your iphone while you’re shooting your gun!  Negotiate the release of that hostage without taking that terrorist out of your line of fire.  Talk and text while you’re taking out targets in Afghanistan.  Play games and apps while you’re burried in the bushes waiting for that pesky target to come out of that cabin in woods he’s been holed up in for 5 days.  Just an ingenious invention.  Must be from the same guys that invented bungee jumping.


Myke Friscia

Screenplay Analyst, Writer, Director of Development for Gallagher Literary Management, Little Monster. "Words are my Passion".